The Science of Expressing Love and The Art of Relationships
Words kneel down to you. It cowers in your presence. How can any woman let you go?
The many times she asked me that question, I had no answers. I just knew I love sincerely enough to breath live into every heart I touch. But somehow it always comes down to the one question, do you love me enough?
It’ll became crystal when I saw this tweet by Suli Breaks
Expression was the guilty one.
I’ll take you years back in medical school, a day at the chest clinic. A professor came through and of all the things he said, one thing was take home for me. He talked about his wife a bit and told us;
-The key to a successful relationship is knowing the dominant sense of your partner
If it is hearing then it’s words you gift them. If it’s taste then you know a kiss means more than roses and surprise dinner is orgasmic. If it is smell, let the candles burn out perfume in the room when you call her name. If it is sight, send her roses on odd days, and dress to seduce. But what if it’s touch? That’s my my dominant sense. Every talent nature ever gifted me has to do with touch. I’ve always had preference for surgery and I’m gifted at it surprisingly. I love silk for how it feels. I buy bedsheets because they feel good. I like my cover clothes soft and smoochy. I love a woman with natural hair not because of how it looks but because of how it feels… so when I say that hair is beautiful I’m only expressing my dominant sense in words. I’m no fun of makeup because it prevents me from holding a lady anytime I want to, not because I hate how it looks to the eyes. Best time I ever spend with a lady is when she lies in my arms regardless what we’re both doing I just need to feel her presence.
Sometimes I feel touch is the least understood sense in humans. If I visit my lady and she leaves me there, cooking me a meal or making me a drink, or wearing black dress for my love of black that’s her trying for nothing. It’ll be a more gifted time spent if she wears something silky and just lay in my arms all day. That is orgasmic for me.
-We express ourselves better same way our dominant senses are
If your partner has taste as the dominant sense then you can bet they’ll take you on a date to their favorite restaurant or invite you home for dinner. If sight is, then they’ll probably take you to the beach or a beautiful place they behold. If hearing then maybe where the birds chirp or that jazz restaurant. If smell I don’t know but there definitely has to be a craving aroma. But what if touch? We’ll I can tell you that cos I know me. It doesn’t matter where they’ll take you to but definitely a quiet place where they can hold your hands the longest like for a walk, or hold you close mostly. So definitely restaurant or crowded places will come last.
The mistake however is
-You expect your partner to express themselves to you how you feel it most
Sorry I took you for a walk holding your hands and kissing your forehead (dominant touch me) instead of a restaurant (dominant taste you)
Sorry I spent my time finding the best scented candles and cooking you that great aroma of a dish (dominant smell me) instead of lying down in your arms all day chatting about anything (dominant touch you)
Sorry I spent great deal of money getting tickets for the Opera House (dominant hearing me) instead of taking you on an less expensive bus tour around the country (dominant sight you)
-The key is not having the same sense as you partner but understanding their dominant sense and judging their love for you by their means of expression not yours
The truth is we all have five senses. One is dominant and key. So staging my senses from dominant to least will be Touch — Sight — Taste — Hear — Smell. It’s more likely I’ll bond best with somebody in the first three than somebody in the last two.
-Your dominant sense works both ways; receptive and expressive
Taste means you’ll rather prefer a gift that’s food and you’ll rather give out a gift that is food.
And that’s where miscommunication happens. Because you expect your partner to prioritize your senses forgetting he or she has a dominant sense too different from you and he expects same from you.
-The solution is learning your partners dominant sense and showing them love through that sense from time to time and understanding their love for you through their dominant sense rather than your sense.
Note from the writer; I seek to grow in life learning it’s beauties day and night. I write love cos it’s the only universal language everybody can relate to. Most things I write are real life happenings in my life… with a garnish of poetry they become bearable to share like a coded journal. Coded to respect the amazing people who trust me with their privacy enough to be in my life at some point. When I read pieces I write, it’s a diary. I don’t know what you see when you read them. I don’t write for the likes or hypes, I write because I feel emotions best at my fingertips, I write because it’s therapeutic for me, I write because I might find the one soul someday who needed these words to save them. I’m ezer agyin .
